Self professed "pop noir" artist Nicole Atkins mixes the sounds of a country crooner, jazz songstress, and girl band with her melancholic and operatic voice. Right out of Jersey, this David Lynch inspired singer is backed by her band, The Sea. Her lyrics may be sad, and her voice soulful, but the singer insists that you will be able to do the mashed potato to every one of her tracks. ?C.S. Tickets are $12 @ Ticketmaster Plaza Nightclub, 881 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Shoegaze is making a comeback. My Bloody Valentine and Swervedriver are in the midst of reunion tours, as are the Smashing Pumpkins (who wish they were shoegaze). Neil Halstead played in two prominent shoegaze bands, Slowdive and Mojave 3. Thing is, now he performs dreamy and wistful songs on his acoustic guitar. He's jumped off the bandwagon at exactly the wrong time. Have some sense, Neil. - R.T. Tickets are $15.00 @ Zulu Records or 604-738-3232 The Media Club, 695 Cambie, Vancouver, BC

This trio combines Oliver Ackermann with Jono MOFO and Jay Space. Personally, I prefer the name ?Jono MOFO? to the other 2. It just sounds so punk rocker and celeb- can?t you just picture the headline? ?Jono MOFO Dating Socialite Paris Hilton.? I should be a gossip journalist. ?S.B. Tickets are $13.00 @ Zulu Records or 604-738-3232 Biltmore Cabaret, 395 Kingsway, Vancouver, BC

The freak of nature formerly known as Esther is going on tour for the umpteenth time to promote her newest album, Hard Candy. Seriously, this woman does not age. You should go just for the level of suspense that Madonna brings to the show. Will she use a British accent? Will she make out with another girl on stage? (I think the count is at 3 right now.) The surprises are endless. Plus she is a perfectionist with a ton of cash and some great tracks, so you know you will get your money's worth. -C.S. Tickets are $55-165 @ Ticketmaster BC Place, 777 Pacific Boulevard, Vancouver, BC

You can?t fully appreciate the heat unless you?ve felt the cold. As summer wears on, try not to forget the yin/yang paradigm of weather enjoyment. Mogwai?s catalogue is the perfect accompaniment to the aforementioned dogma. Like other atmospheric bands, from God Speed You Black Emperor to Explosions in the Sky Mogwai's post-rock ditties typically build from chilly beginnings to heated crescendos. You'll start cool but end sweaty. Perfect. ?S.T. Tickets are $26.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Joe Bonamassa was named Best Blues Guitarist by Guitar Player Magazine and "best guitarist of his generation" by Guitar One Magazine. And honestly, he is probably everything they say he is. The problem is, unless you read guitar magazines (meaning you also play guitar and listen religiously to Stevie Ray Vaughan, Joe Satriani, and Steve Vai), you probably won't be as impressed. Guitar virtuosity is all well and good, but sometimes you want fleshed out songs, not just extended solos. - R.T. Tickets are $29.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Frank Black. Jack Black. Jack White. White Noise. Michael Keaton. Alex P. Keaton. Family Ties. Swiss Family Robinson. Swiss rolls. Black chocolate. Frank Black. See? It?s all connected. Tickets are $24.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Media Club, 695 Cambie Street, Vancouver, BC

This Vancouver music festival brings a celebration of classic, world music, opera and jazz to the city. If you?re a fan of non- pop music or you are over the age of 45, this event is for you. For two weeks you?ll get to experience talented musicians playing inoffensive songs that are good for the soul. Doesn?t that sound nice? Wouldn?t you like to enjoy a nice cup of tea while watching these young whippersnappers playing nice music that the kids really should be listening to? This year the programming spotlight is Music Of The Americas, which will bring top performers from South America, Central America, and The United States. I?ll bet you just peed your pants with excitement.?P.B. Tickets are $34 - $119 Various venues. For more information call 604-688-1152

The Chad masters Backstreet Boys production, Coldplay vocals and 80?s synths in his latest poppy recording. See if it?s physically possible to replicate the sound live on stage (and that?s without the assistance of a CD player).-E.J. Tickets are $15.25 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

Kris Kristofferson has had an impressive 40 year career as an actor, singer-songwriter, and lover of Janis Joplin. What's even more impressive? That's his real name. - R.T. Tickets are $59.50 - $69.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 8811 River Road, Richmond, B.C.

Of course there are battles in Brooklyn: every current worthwhile American band has crowded the budget-Manhattan. Not just blippers, not just pluckers, not just twisters, Battles bash together genres letting sounds fight for respite, replete with the occasional demonic chipmunk vocal, 4/4 nod, and fuzz twist. They're amalgam sublimity epitomized. -S.T. Tickets are $20 @ Zulu, Scratch, Highlife, and Red Cat Records Richards on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

He?s actually just one person, real name: Clarence Greenwood. He?s a reggae-blues/hip-hop artist hailing from Brooklyn and looks like a granola chewing hippy. His music is the happy, upbeat tunes that carefree twentysomethings listen to while smoking the sweet stuff. Not my cup of tea, but it may be yours, so grab a ticket and throw on your poncho, you upper-middle-class dropout. Tickets are $29.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Vogue Theatre, 918 Granville Street, Vancouver, B.C.

This Brooklyn music duo is comprised of Rob Barber and Mary Pearson. Barber plays a variety of instruments and Mary sings. They actually pretty damn good music, I'm getting tired of this 2-man band thing. Let's move on, shall we??PB Tickets are $12 Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richards on Richards, 1036 Richards St., Vancouver, BC

Even though I?m constantly confused by the fact that their accents rarely show up in their singing voices, I have to admit that I love British bands. They have a remarkable ability to play wide-ranging pop music and make it seem completely arty and pretentious. I?m not sure how they do it. Well, I know how Stereolab does it, at least. They have a lead singer who performs in French. If you want to make anything seem pretentious just add French. It?s remarkable how well that works. ?P.B. Tickets are $24.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Art punk, heart spunk. Don't be surprised if lead singer Tim Harrington plants a big wet on you in the front row. Yeah, I'm talking to you! Tickets are $21.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Playing with a who's who of the indie music scene, Vanderslice has been sharing a stage with the likes of Vampire Weekend and Okkervil River. And he fits in well. Not one to back down from political and media attention, the artist has created a hoax involving Microsoft suing him over trade mark violations. Yada, yada, yada, he's known for this kinda shtick. Go see what tricks he pulls at this concert. ?C.S. Tickets are $15 @ Ticketmaster or 416-870-8000 Media Club, 695 Cambie Street, Vancouver, BC

A group of unlikely music industry darlings, these former visual artists are actually tight with Bowie and have found a fan in Mos Def. Expect plenty of electro, beat boxing, and free jazz sounds as the basis to their Beat-like lyrics. No surprise that this group likes to have fun, in particular, the type of fun your grandmother would appreciate: word games! Apart from their name, their first album was titled OK Computer. Ha. -C.S. Tickets are $27.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Perhaps I'm not the best geographer; I thought that the only thing north of Whistler was a pre-Columbus-style end of the world. Evidently, I was wrong; my apologies to Pemberton. Typically, summer (aka Festival Season) can be a slow time for Canadian concert-goers. It's like England during the crusades. Most acts fly off to far a field festivals, of which Canada has few (Virgin is fine, but it's not until September (and you typically don't camp out)). Now, thanks to a burgeoning town just north of Whistler, the summertime concert calendar has a shining bright spot: the Pemberton Festival. This year's inaugural event runs from July 25th to July 27th and welcomes a disparate though surprisingly strong line-up of talent. Headliners have a big-stage pedigree and include Glasto conqueror Jay-Z (sorry, Noel), perennial lighter surveyors, Coldplay, CanCon favourites, the Tragically Hip, backpack mopers, Death Cab for Cutie, and red-lit shadowy guitar heroes, Interpol. Also, look for the Flaming Lips' onstage circus and Tom Petty's smokey whinny. Potentially upstaging the marquee line-up, lower-bill acts boast palpable blog-kid cool cred. This year's Brooklyn break-outs, MGMT and Vampire Weekend, continue to ascend up the schedule. Semi-local and entirely apropos, joint-rock sludgers, Black Mountain will blow your ears off. Guy-girl duos get an apposite double shot care of Fiery Furnaces' marching thud and Mates of State's playful pop. Other highlights include the Nova Scotia contingent of Wintersleep and Buck 65, beard faves, My Morning Jacket, and Korg lovers, Metric. While guitars, drum kits, and keyboards get a healthy mountain representation, Pemberton is also heavy on laptop and speaker fare for water-craving twitchers. MSTRKRFT, the Crystal Method, Cut Chemist, and many others will have high-altitude sweat flowing forth copiously. A multi-stage extravaganza, Pemberton scheduling will conjure a number of conundrums; dork up with a pen and an up-to-date schedule, get a pair of Wellies and a non-smelly tent and head north (again, do not worry about falling off of the world). -S.T. $149.50 for single day tickets, $259.50 for a three-day pass @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Pemberton, BC

Film School has easy listening alternative/psychedelic sound that is sure to appeal to their target demographic (hint: check out their name). The music is nothing too special, but they've got a solid name. Film school is definitely a ridiculous concept and anyone who's ever been to one that it's even crazier in practice than it is in execution. It is a fun time though. The degree is useless, but it's damn fun to earn.?PB Tickets are $10 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Media Club, 695 Cambie Street, Vancouver, BC

Whether in club back-rooms, in Parisian flats, or on hallowed hall stages, Broken Social Scenesters have become ubiquitous. With her latest swirl-disc, ?The Reminder,? Ms. Feist has taken over the world. She?s gone from sticky-floor bars to concert theatres to arenas and, now, to parks. You know you?ve made it when people start wearing sunscreen to your shows. ?S.T. Tickets are $49.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Deer Lake Park, Vancouver, BC

Celine Dion is on the loose! Run, my friends, while you still have intact eardrums! Even those high-tolerance residents of Los Vegas have a breaking point and they?ve unshackled Dion to save themselves. The Quebecois diva has announced a continent-wide tour months in advance, so all you die-hards can make sure her shows sell out. At this point you have to wonder if she still works for her love of the craft, because we all know she doesn?t need the money. I personally think she works so hard to avoid changing Rene?s diapers at home. Leave that to the poor hired help. ?J.T. Tickets are $62.50 - $520 @ Ticketmaster or 416-870-8000 GM Place, 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, BC

You know what the kids love to listen to these days? Soft rock accoustic folk jams. Yessir, nothing gets a high schooler more excited that listen to a guy sing softly into a microphone about lost love and the difficulties of life. In case you haven?t detected it by now, I?m being sarcastic. I?m sure that this guy appeals to swooning young women and jackass college guys with a guitar and an irrational sense of confidence, but everyone else will find him boring. Unless they are boring people themselves, then they?ll love Josh Radin for all the qualities they share with him. ?P.B. Tickets are $15 Biltmore Cabaret, 395 Kingsway, Vancouver, BC

Shoegaze is making a comeback. My Bloody Valentine and Swervedriver are in the midst of reunion tours, as are the Smashing Pumpkins (who wish they were shoegaze). Neil Halstead played in two prominent shoegaze bands, Slowdive and Mojave 3. Thing is, now he performs dreamy and wistful songs on his acoustic guitar. He's jumped off the bandwagon at exactly the wrong time. Have some sense, Neil. - R.T. Tickets are $15.00 @ Zulu Records or 604-738-3232 The Media Club, 695 Cambie, Vancouver, BC

This band is aiming for cute, there?s not denying that. The unfortunate thing is that they are missing the mark. They?ve found pop punk, which is far from cute. It?s more accurately described as tired and boring. But hey, they are pretty people and one day their photo will sell a lot of albums. I guess that?s worth something. They should have tried aiming for "good." Plaza Nightclub, Vancouver, BC Tickets are $15.00 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444

<img src='http://www.martiniboys.com/files/mbo/herman\'s-hermits.gif' style='padding: 4px; float: right;' />If you can believe it, Herman's Hermits was once a major competitor to the Beatles. With a clean-cut and parent-friendly image, they were able to churn out such hits as "Henry the Eighth I Am," "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter," and "I'm Into Something Good," which you can probably catch in multiple commercials. - R.T. Tickets are $34.50 - $44.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Red Robinson Show Theatre, Boulevard Casino, 2080 United Boulevard, Coquitlam, B.C.

The freak of nature formerly known as Esther is going on tour for the umpteenth time to promote her newest album, Hard Candy. Seriously, this woman does not age. You should go just for the level of suspense that Madonna brings to the show. Will she use a British accent? Will she make out with another girl on stage? (I think the count is at 3 right now.) The surprises are endless. Plus she is a perfectionist with a ton of cash and some great tracks, so you know you will get your money's worth. -C.S. Tickets are $55-165 @ Ticketmaster BC Place, 777 Pacific Boulevard, Vancouver, BC

This trio combines Oliver Ackermann with Jono MOFO and Jay Space. Personally, I prefer the name ?Jono MOFO? to the other 2. It just sounds so punk rocker and celeb- can?t you just picture the headline? ?Jono MOFO Dating Socialite Paris Hilton.? I should be a gossip journalist. ?S.B. Tickets are $13.00 @ Zulu Records or 604-738-3232 Biltmore Cabaret, 395 Kingsway, Vancouver, BC

Playing with a who's who of the indie music scene, Vanderslice has been sharing a stage with the likes of Vampire Weekend and Okkervil River. And he fits in well. Not one to back down from political and media attention, the artist has created a hoax involving Microsoft suing him over trade mark violations. Yada, yada, yada, he's known for this kinda shtick. Go see what tricks he pulls at this concert. ?C.S. Tickets are $15 @ Ticketmaster or 416-870-8000 Media Club, 695 Cambie Street, Vancouver, BC

David Berman, after years of trying, finally seems to have shed the notion that Silver Jews are a Pavement side project. It might have something to do with the fact that Stephen Malkmus is no longer contributing to the band and Pavement broke up nearly 10 years ago, but it's still about damn time. Berman's low voice and clever lyrics make this a band worth seeing. You should go. I might. - R.T. Tickets are $20 @ Zulu Richards On Richards, 1036 Richards St., Vancouver, BC

The Chad masters Backstreet Boys production, Coldplay vocals and 80?s synths in his latest poppy recording. See if it?s physically possible to replicate the sound live on stage (and that?s without the assistance of a CD player).-E.J. Tickets are $15.25 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

"If you haven't had a can of rat poison in your hand and looked at it for 45 minutes straight, you haven't been in love? If you haven't practiced your alibi in front of the mirror, you haven't been in love." And so it goes with Chris rock, performing his usual hilarious shtick on his No Apologies Tour. Tickets are $59.50-85.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Orpheum Theatre, 884 Granville St., Vancouver, BC

Boris is a Japanese rock band known for changing genres every time they release a new record. Some of the genres they've hit on so far include drone metal, sludge metal, psychedelic rock, stoner rock, noise rock, and ambient music. Essentially if you like drugs you'll enjoy the band, if not go check out that Anne Murray concert your parents keep talking about.-PB Tickets are $14.00 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richard's on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

A group of unlikely music industry darlings, these former visual artists are actually tight with Bowie and have found a fan in Mos Def. Expect plenty of electro, beat boxing, and free jazz sounds as the basis to their Beat-like lyrics. No surprise that this group likes to have fun, in particular, the type of fun your grandmother would appreciate: word games! Apart from their name, their first album was titled OK Computer. Ha. -C.S. Tickets are $27.50 @ Ticketmaster Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

Several male alt-easy-rock fans can't stand up right now without risking embarrassment. Imagining a dusk dose of strumming from Hawaii's most famous troubadour has their pants suddenly stressed and uncomfortable. Their female counterparts can walk around freely, but with glints in their eyes. -S.T. Tickets are $46 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 UBC Thunderbird Stadium, 6066 Thunderbird, University Of British Columbia, Vancouver, BC

Art punk, heart spunk. Don't be surprised if lead singer Tim Harrington plants a big wet on you in the front row. Yeah, I'm talking to you! Tickets are $21.50 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

This Brooklyn music duo is comprised of Rob Barber and Mary Pearson. Barber plays a variety of instruments and Mary sings. They actually pretty damn good music, I'm getting tired of this 2-man band thing. Let's move on, shall we??PB Tickets are $12 Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richards on Richards, 1036 Richards St., Vancouver, BC

Day 2 of the Stanley Park Singing Exhibition concludes with performances by Steve Jackson and the 1990s, so it should be a good show and?wait?who am I forgetting. Oh yeah, of course. The headlining act are the hometown heroes The New Pornographers. Vancouver?s favourite pop rock consortium, boasts the palpable talent of Carl Newman, Neko Case, Dan Bejar, and others. The maple leaf is the new star, and porn is the new hammer and sickle. Mon SEP 1 STANLEY PARK SINGING EXH. NEW PORNOGRAPHERS, 1990s, STEVE JACKSON...- MALKIN BOWL Tickets are $30.00-$35.00 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Malkin Bowl, Stanley Park, Vancouver, BC

Perhaps I'm not the best geographer; I thought that the only thing north of Whistler was a pre-Columbus-style end of the world. Evidently, I was wrong; my apologies to Pemberton. Typically, summer (aka Festival Season) can be a slow time for Canadian concert-goers. It's like England during the crusades. Most acts fly off to far a field festivals, of which Canada has few (Virgin is fine, but it's not until September (and you typically don't camp out)). Now, thanks to a burgeoning town just north of Whistler, the summertime concert calendar has a shining bright spot: the Pemberton Festival. This year's inaugural event runs from July 25th to July 27th and welcomes a disparate though surprisingly strong line-up of talent. Headliners have a big-stage pedigree and include Glasto conqueror Jay-Z (sorry, Noel), perennial lighter surveyors, Coldplay, CanCon favourites, the Tragically Hip, backpack mopers, Death Cab for Cutie, and red-lit shadowy guitar heroes, Interpol. Also, look for the Flaming Lips' onstage circus and Tom Petty's smokey whinny. Potentially upstaging the marquee line-up, lower-bill acts boast palpable blog-kid cool cred. This year's Brooklyn break-outs, MGMT and Vampire Weekend, continue to ascend up the schedule. Semi-local and entirely apropos, joint-rock sludgers, Black Mountain will blow your ears off. Guy-girl duos get an apposite double shot care of Fiery Furnaces' marching thud and Mates of State's playful pop. Other highlights include the Nova Scotia contingent of Wintersleep and Buck 65, beard faves, My Morning Jacket, and Korg lovers, Metric. While guitars, drum kits, and keyboards get a healthy mountain representation, Pemberton is also heavy on laptop and speaker fare for water-craving twitchers. MSTRKRFT, the Crystal Method, Cut Chemist, and many others will have high-altitude sweat flowing forth copiously. A multi-stage extravaganza, Pemberton scheduling will conjure a number of conundrums; dork up with a pen and an up-to-date schedule, get a pair of Wellies and a non-smelly tent and head north (again, do not worry about falling off of the world). -S.T. $149.50 for single day tickets, $259.50 for a three-day pass @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Pemberton, BC

Soy un perdedor." -"Loser" by Beck In the pre-internet days (I'm dating myself), Beck dropped a brilliant, self-aware spoken-word ballad that playfully captured the '90s zeitgeist. Then, "Google" had not become a verb, thus figuring out the lyrics was left to radio (remember that?) listeners. Unfortunately, I didn't - nor do I - speak Spanish. I should apologize to Beck for mangling his masterpiece time and again. Sorry, Beck. -S.T. Tickets are $55 @ Zulu Records and Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Orpheum Theatre, 884 Granville Street, Vancouver, BC

The most eloquent and fluid rapper in the most influential and powerful hip hop crew of all time is touring his 1995 classic Liquid Swords. What more do you want? It won't get better than this. Go. Tickets are $24.50 @ Zulu Records and Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Richards On Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC

Film School has easy listening alternative/psychedelic sound that is sure to appeal to their target demographic (hint: check out their name). The music is nothing too special, but they've got a solid name. Film school is definitely a ridiculous concept and anyone who's ever been to one that it's even crazier in practice than it is in execution. It is a fun time though. The degree is useless, but it's damn fun to earn.?PB Tickets are $10 @ Ticketmaster or 604-280-4444 Media Club, 695 Cambie Street, Vancouver, BC

Of course there are battles in Brooklyn: every current worthwhile American band has crowded the budget-Manhattan. Not just blippers, not just pluckers, not just twisters, Battles bash together genres letting sounds fight for respite, replete with the occasional demonic chipmunk vocal, 4/4 nod, and fuzz twist. They're amalgam sublimity epitomized. -S.T. Tickets are $20 @ Zulu, Scratch, Highlife, and Red Cat Records Richards on Richards, 1036 Richards Street, Vancouver, BC